So I was driving along with my best friend in the passenger seat next to me. Suddenly the car in front of me skidded on ice and I had to emergency brake. Before I knew it my hand was across my friend to stop her from flying forwards She looked at me and told me she couldn’t believe that my first thought would be to save her. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that, as a pizza delivery driver, I have developed a reflex action to stop the pizzas flying off the seat whenever I emergency brake.
SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY
Did you just call a duckling poultry
GUYS HELP SOMETHING HAS BEEN TAPPING ON MY WINDOW FOR LIKE 5 MINUTES I’M SCARED TO GO LOOK
oh my gOD
You’re either in a dramatic rendition of the Princess and the Frog or you’re in the first five minutes of a Supernatural episode.
You know if its the latter there’s good news and bad news.
Good news, Sam and Dean are coming.
Bad news, you die first.